Contrary to popular belief, I have not been abducted by little green men in space suits. I have however, been MIA due in part to a soon to be 7-year-old silly chap with unruly blonde hair, along with his sidekick, a highly spirited, yet ultra goofy 2-year-old beauty. Yes, I hit a bit of a wall in life and desperately needed to take a step back, refocus and re-evaluate this crazy thing known as the life of a “stay at home mom” / wife / photographer / housekeeper / cook / errand runner / teacher / ….. well you get the picture. Growing up, my mom had a fancy title for herself, as she was this same such person: a General Factotum. A factotum is a general servant or a person having many diverse activities or responsibilities. That’s me. That’s my adopted title. That is also pretty much the life of most of my online friends. And I know I am not alone in this recent state of mind, as I’ve talked to and read blog posts and forum posts from so many other mothers/photographers in the same boat. You hear that word *balance* bandied about everywhere these days. It’s that all elusive equilibrium everyone is desperately searching for in their lives. And let me tell you, I’ve come to realize that it is unattainable. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, something creeps in and disrupts the apple cart. There appear to be two options. Either you scale back and place fewer apples in your cart, thereby creating a lighter load and more value to the apples that ARE there. Or you pack your cart to the hilt with more than you can feasibly bear and drudge along, struggling day by day to push just a little further, slowly losing bits of your load as you press forward. Either way, inevitably *something* comes along to knock that cart over, or at the very least, wobble it. At the end of the day, I just want to make sure that the things that truly matter in my life are securely in my cart and that the load is manageable. What’s the worth of pushing along a million things that ultimately in the end, will be of no real consequence.
Thusly, things that used to consume me, squeezing every last drop from each hour of the day, have slowly taken a backseat to the things that deserve to be forefront: my chillins, my husband, my personal life, my housework… HOUSEWORK? WHO WROTE THAT? Well, the first 3 things anyway. And in doing so, things have been quiet on the blog front and the photography front and you know what, it’s OK! And if I’m being completely transparent, there’s still a lot of decision making to be done as to where the photography side of things will end up. I have been working hard on putting together all the details of my upcoming photography workshop in California coming up in 2 short months. In addition, online mentoring has gotten underway. More details on that later. The teaching side of the business has really sunk its teeth in and I do believe it’s a good fit for me. Of course, my focus there is on the editing side more so than the technicalities of shooting. However, I was able to meet with a lovely local (hey Courtney!) and show her the ins and outs of her DSLR. You know that old adage that the best way to truly learn something is to teach it, it’s so true. Having to explain ISO, apertures, shutter speeds, focus points, metering, composition, focal lengths, DOF, etc. to someone when normally I just DO it and don’t think too hard about it… well it reinforced my technical abilities and more importantly, made me realize how much MORE I enjoy the editing end of photography than the technical shooting end!! I find the bulk of my creativity comes after the shot has been taken. I know there are a lot of photographers out there that are just the opposite and would rather spend their time shooting as opposed to being in front of the computer editing. It takes all kinds!
So, alright already, enough chatter! I shot these images earlier tonight. Well, technically last night, as it is nearly 2 am as I sit weary-eyed typing this. (See what this blogging does to me? I haven’t stayed up this late in weeks.) Yes, I bribed this sweet young lad to accompany me out for a few shots before the sun went down. We may be turning over a new leaf, as it wasn’t me begging for him to cooperate, but rather, me rolling on the ground giggling from his crazy goof ball antics. Again, this is me, going with the flow, living in the moment, however imperfect that moment may be. These moments, however, alone with my son, were perfectly imperfect. There was a lot of eye crossing and dorky face making, but a few gems tucked in there as well.